Are you leaving the success of your marriage to CHANCE or do you have a VISION in place of what it will take to create and live your very own “Happily Ever After?”
For a lot of people in relationships, getting married almost seems like the main goal or destination of the relationship. You find the person that you adore, you date and then celebrate your love by joining together as one. We all have the vision of what it is we want up to the wedding ceremony, but from there on out, it almost seems that a marriages success is just left to the wind. Like it is almost just expected that from the wedding forward your marriage will just somehow miraculously follow down the path of “happily ever after”.
Although the idea of getting married and then somehow having that marriage intuitively and effortlessly create endless amounts of joy and happiness for the rest of your life sounds completely wonderful, you are probably aware that this is not the case for most couples today. So perhaps it takes just a bit more than just reaching the goal of “getting married” and then “winging it” from there.
If this is the case, “how do can couples learn what is really needed in order to truly create the “happily ever after” we have all heard about and envisioned?” Although every marriage is different, many of the principles to create a truly spectacular relationship are the same. And one of those principles that helps you to create a truly spectacular marriage is having a VISION of what it is that you and your spouse want to experience within your relationship along the way.
Many of our clients are very successful individuals in some area of there life or another, whether it is in business, their health, or some other area of their lives. If this is the case for you too, then on some level you already know that in order to create success in ANYTHING, you need to first start with a vision of what it is that you want. The same is true for your marriage or relationship. With something as important as your marriage relationship, you cannot leave its success to happenstance. It has to be created by design. You need to begin with the end in mind, and then work backwards to explore what needs to happen on a regular basis to create that type of relationship throughout the course of your marriage.
This is a principle that we use anytime we are working with clients, whether it is on their relationship or just their individual personal or professional goals. One of the very first things you need to think about and do is establish a destination. You have to know where it is that you are going in your relationship and what you want it to be like. The challenge herein, is that when thinking about marriage, so many people know more about what they do not want in their lives rather than what they DO want. I have often found that when I ask them what it is that they DO want, they really don’t have a clear vision. Yet, without a clear vision of where you are going or what it is that you want, how do you know when you are off track, and even more importantly, what you need to do to get things back to what makes your marriage “happily ever after” for the two of you.
This being the case, we highly recommend that you begin by creating a vision for your marriage. You want to consider what you want your days to be like with your spouse from here forward. What do you want your relationship to look like, what will be some of the activities you will want to do on a regular basis? What will be some of the emotions that you want to feel regularly? Do you want love, passion, romance, spontaneity, peace, support? The list can go on and on depending on what’s most important to you and your spouse. However, the more clarity you can create around what it is that you want, the clearer you will become on what you will need to do to create it or who you might need to become as a person in order to create it.
If you haven’t already taken the time to create this type of vision for what you want your marriage to be like, today is the day to do it. Then, once you have your vision of what you want, your next step is to break down what YOU will need TO DO or how you will need to BE each and every day to make this vision a reality. Be sure to note that I said, “what YOU will need TO DO to make your vision a reality” not what your spouse needs to do. This is on purpose, because we all know that we do not control our spouses. Therefore, if we want to experience a relationship that is romantic, loving, intimate, connected, etc… that means that YOU will be the one who needs to do it.
That being said, if your spouse or partner is open to the idea of creating a vision for your relationship, we highly recommend that you do this exercise together. This way you become aware of what your spouse’s desires are the relationship as well and create a vision for the two of you as a combined unit including all of the elements desired by both of you.
Keep in mind that once you create this vision, YOU still have to put in the energy and effort to make it happen. Relationships do not flourish long term while coasting. You have to continually breathe new life into them. YOU have to make them fulfilling and full of passion.
Just like anything in life, we only get out of it what we FIRST PUT INTO IT.
Create your vision, and then get busy making that vision come to life. You will be happy you did.